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Step Seven

"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Since this Step so specifically concerns itself with humility, we should pause
here to consider what humility is and what the practice of it can mean to us.
Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each
of A.A.'s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can
stay sober at all. Nearly all A.A.'s have found, too, that unless they develop
much more of this precious quality than may be required just for sobriety, they
still haven't much chance of becoming truly happy. Without it, they cannot live
to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can
meet any emergency.
Humility, as a word and as an ideal, has a very bad time of it in our world.
Not only is the idea misunderstood; the word itself is often intensely
disliked. Many people haven't even a nodding acquaintance with humility as a
way of life. Much of the everyday talk we hear, and a great deal of what we
read, highlights man's pride in his own achievements.
With great intelligence, men of science have been forcing nature to disclose
her secrets. The immense resources now being harnessed promise such a quantity
of material blessings that many have come to believe that a man-made millennium
lies just ahead. Poverty will disappear, and there will be such abundance that
everybody can have all the security and personal satisfactions he desires. The
theory seems to be that once everybody's primary instincts are satisfied, there
won't be much left to quarrel about. The world will then turn happy and be free
to concentrate on culture and character. Solely by their own intelligence and
labor, men will have shaped their own destiny.
Certainly no alcoholic, and surely no member of A.A., wants to deprecate
material achievement. Nor do we enter into debate with the many who still so
passionately cling to the belief that to satisfy our basic natural desires is
the main object of life. But we are sure that no class of people in the
world ever made a worse mess of trying to live by this formula than alcoholics.
For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security,
prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still
greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion.
Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted.
In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling
handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see
that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that
material satisfactions were not the purpose of living. Quite
characteristically, we had gone all out in confusing the ends with the means.
Instead of regarding the satisfaction of our material desires as the means by
which we could live and function as human beings, we had taken these
satisfactions to be the final end and aim of life.
True, most of us thought good character was desirable, but obviously good
character was something one needed to get on with the business of being
self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality, we'd stand a
better chance of getting what we really wanted. But whenever we had to choose
between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of
our chase after what we thought was happiness. Seldom did we look at
character-building as something desirable in itself, something we would like to
strive for whether our instinctual needs were met or not. We never thought of
making honesty, tolerance, and true love of man and God the daily basis of
living.
This lack of anchorage to any permanent values, this blindness to the true
purpose of our lives, produced another bad result. For just so long as we were
convinced that we could live exclusively by our own individual strength and
intelligence, for just that long was a working faith in a Higher Power
impossible. This was true even when we believed that God existed. We could
actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren because we were
still trying to play God ourselves. As long as we placed self reliance first, a
genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic
ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God's will, was missing.
For us, the process of gaining a new perspective was unbelievably painful. It
was only by repeated humiliations that we were forced to learn something about
humility. It was only at the end of a long road, marked by successive defeats
and humiliations, and the final crushing of our self sufficiency, that we began
to feel humility as something more than a condition of groveling despair. Every
newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous is told, and soon realizes for himself, that
his humble admission of powerlessness over alcohol is his first step toward
liberation from its paralyzing grip.
So it is that we first see humility as a necessity. But this is the barest
beginning. To get completely away from our aversion to the idea of being
humble, to gain a vision of humility as the avenue to true freedom of the human
spirit, to be willing to work for humility as something to be desired for
itself, takes most of us a long, long time. A whole lifetime geared to
self-centeredness cannot be set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our
every step at first.
When we have finally admitted without reservation that we are powerless over
alcohol, we are apt to breathe a great sigh of relief, saying, "Well, thank God
that's over! I'll never have to go through that again!" Then we learn, often to
our consternation, that this is only the first milestone on the new road we are
walking. Still goaded by sheer necessity, we reluctantly come to grips with
those serious character flaws that made problem drinkers of us in the first
place, flaws which must be dealt with to prevent a retreat into alcoholism once
again. We will want to be rid of some of these defects, but in some instances
this will appear to be an impossible job from which we recoil. And we cling
with a passionate persistence to others which are just as disturbing to our
equilibrium, because we still enjoy them too much. How can we possibly summon
the resolution and the willingness to get rid of such overwhelming compulsions
and desires?
But again we are driven on by the inescapable conclusion which we draw from
A.A. experience, that we surely must try with a will, or else fall by the
wayside. At this stage of our progress we are under heavy pressure and coercion
to do the right thing. We are obliged to choose between the pains of trying and
the certain penalties of failing to do so. These initial steps along the road
are taken grudgingly, yet we do take them. We may still have no very high
opinion of humility as a desirable personal virtue, but we do recognize it as a
necessary aid to our survival.
But when we have taken a square look at some of these defects, have discussed
them with another, and have become willing to have them removed, our thinking
about humility commences to have a wider meaning. By this time in all
probability we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating
handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of
mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or
anxiety--in other words, to all of us--this newfound peace is a priceless gift.
Something new indeed has been added. Where humility had formerly stood for a
forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient
which can give us serenity.
This improved perception of humility starts another revolutionary change in
our outlook. Our eyes begin to open to the immense values which have come
straight out of painful ego-puncturing. Until now, our lives have been largely
devoted to running from pain and problems. We fled from them as from a plague.
We never wanted to deal with the fact of suffering. Escape via the bottle was
always our solution. Character-building through suffering might be all right
for saints, but it certainly didn't appeal to us.
Then, in A.A., we looked and listened. Everywhere we saw failure and misery
transformed by humility into priceless assets. We heard story after story of
how humility had brought strength out of weakness. In every case, pain had been
the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased
more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon
discovered to be a healer of pain. We began to fear pain less, and desire
humility more than ever.
During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result
of all was the change in our attitude toward God. And this was true whether we
had been believers or unbelievers. We began to get over the idea that the
Higher Power was a sort of bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in
an emergency. The notion that we would still live our own lives, God helping a
little now and then, began to evaporate. Many of us who had thought ourselves
religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God
first, we had deprived ourselves of His help. But now the words "Of myself I am
nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and
meaning.
We saw we needn't always be bludgeoned and beaten into humility. It could come
quite as much from our voluntary reaching for it as it could from unremitting
suffering. A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility
as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have. It marked
the time when we could commence to see the full implication of Step Seven:
" Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."
As we approach the actual taking of Step Seven, it might be well if we A.A.'s
inquire once more just what our deeper objectives are. Each of us would like to
live at peace with himself and with his fellows. We would like to be assured
that the grace of God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. We have
seen that character defects based upon shortsighted or unworthy desires are the
obstacles that block our path toward these objectives. We now clearly see that
we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon
God.
The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear
that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get
something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a
state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be
had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference
between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone.
The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us,
with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward
God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us
that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our
other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over
alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by
which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the
same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.

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