Clean and Sober
How Bill W. Founded Alcoholics Anonymous and Helped Millions
BY BOB FROST
Lord, it tasted so good, the booze that Bill Wilson swallowed at a party
in Massachusetts in 1917. He was 21 years old, this was his first adult
drink, and the fiery liquid instantly changed his life for the better, or
so he thought. His shoulders relaxed, his shyness dissolved, and he felt
warmth and light spread to every part of his body.
Seventeen years later, in 1934, Wilson’s drinking had ruined his career,
damaged his health, and caused agonizing pain and worry to his family and
friends.
But Wilson found a way out. He cofounded Alcoholics Anonymous, one of
history’s most important social movements.
William Griffith Wilson was born on November 26, 1895, in the small town
of East Dorset, Vermont, the older of two children of Gilman Wilson, a
foreman at a marble quarry, and Emily Griffith Wilson. Gilman was a heavy
drinker, and this, Bill speculated in later years, led to his parents’
divorce when he was still a boy. Watching his father’s battle with
liquor, Bill grew up scared of the stuff and never touched it, according
to several sources.
Young Bill was in many ways a high achiever, driven to succeed. One of
the most famous stories about his youth involves his passionate effort to
create a homemade boomerang. He spent months experimenting with different
designs and woods; finally he succeeded, feeling an expansion of his ego
at the praise he received. But this project seems to have been motivated
in part by a certain psychological emptiness: "I had to be first in
everything," he latter recalled, "Because of my perverse heart I felt
myself the least of God’s creatures."
AS he grew up he became prone to depression, physical tension, intense
social awkwardness, and a fear that he was merely passing through life.
At the same time, however, he was smart, ambitious, and seemed headed for
worldly success. In 1917, as America prepared to enter World War I, he
volunteered for the Army as an officer candidate. One night, Second
Lieutenant Wilson attended a party in New Bedford, Massachusetts, and
took what several biographers say was his first serious adult drink.
Suddenly, magically, he felt release from the tensions that had plagued
him for so long. Recalling the moment years later, he made it sound like
a religious experience: "Lo, the miracle!..I belonged to the universe; I
was a part of things at last."
Bill Wilson got plastered that night and soon began indulging in drinking
bouts that ended with vomiting and passing out. However, Wilson’s Army
buddies didn’t worry much about his boozefests. Nor did his fiancée Lois
Burnham who felt confident that after their marriage she could transform
him into a teetotaler once again. They wed in early 1918, but Bill kept
drinking. In July, he sailed for Europe, where he performed well as an
Army officer in World War I while discovering the joys of French wine.
After the war, back in the States, he earned good money in several Wall
Street investment jobs and, after work each day, made the rounds of
speakeasies, searching for that elusive feeling of exhilaration.
He knew he had a drinking problem. He tried to quit many times. In those
days, alcoholism was seen as a weakness and a disgrace rather than a
disease, and the accepted wisdom was that the people could stop drinking
if they summoned adequate willpower. ON Christmas Day in 1923, Bill
promised Lois "no liquor will pass my lips for one year," but this
pledge, like many others he made, was quickly broken.
Wilson’s troubles deepened in autumn 1929 when the stock market crashed
and the nation entered a depression. As his income shrank, his ego took a
beating and his drinking increased. As a result, he lost his job, spent
days in booze-induced blackouts, got into fights, and hid at home in
frightened seclusion with a bottle of gin. By late 1934 he was scraping
the bottom of the emotional barrel.
A complex series of events would follow-and gradually help him find a way
out of his misery.
The first came in November 1934, when a man named Ebby Thatcher visited
Bill at the Wilson residence in Brooklyn, New York. Ebby and Bill were
old drinking buddies; Bill offered his visitor a snort, and was stunned
at Ebby’s reply: "No, thanks, I don’t want any." Ebby, it turned out, had
found religion, was sober, and was interested in helping Bill get sober
too. Wilson was leery, but Ebby’s visit showed him the value of one
alcoholic talking to another about recovery and gave him a sliver of
solace and hope.
In December, hospitalized after a bender, Wilson prayed. To his
amazement, an intense spiritual experience followed: A "great white
light" spread through his room and a feeling of peace came upon him. Some
observers dismiss this as the result of toxic psychosis, but regardless
of the medical explanation, something important happened.
A short while later, still hospitalized, Wilson read The Varieties of
Religious Experience, a 1902 book by philosopher and psychologist William
James. Wilson concluded that a spiritual experience did not necessarily
have to come from traditional religious channels; one could still embrace
it and use it to generate robust change in one’s life.
Another influence in the evolution of Wilson’s thinking was the Oxford
Group, a Christian evangelical body to which Ebby Thatcher belonged. The
group practiced such ideas as surrender to a higher power, confession
before fellow members, absolute honesty, and unselfish service to others.
Wilson was released from hospital on December 18, 1934. He was 39 years
old. He never took another drink. He had found his life’s purpose:
helping people get and stay sober by using the tools he’d recently
discovered. He went to work with the tremendous unlocked energy of a man
who had set aside his ego and his dreams of personal glory.
One more step was key to the formation of Alcoholics Anonymous. In May of
1935, Wilson traveled to Akron, Ohio, to do some business with a
machinery company, and there, through a chain of coincidences, he met an
alcoholic physician named Bob Smith. Their six-hour meeting confirmed to
Wilson the extraordinary value of one alcoholic telling his story to
another honestly, without preachiness or condescension. Wilson not only
helped Smith; Wilson helped Wilson. Smith stopped drinking and the two
men became brothers in spirit. Working together, they pooled their
knowledge about liquor and healing and formed what would become
Alcoholics Anonymous.
At first, A.A. was a tiny fellowship of spiritual explorers "groping in
the dark," as one member put it, for a simple, effective way to create a
satisfying life without alcohol.
Slowly the organization caught on. Press coverage helped, as did Bill
Wilson’s 1939 book Alcoholics Anonymous, which presented the famous
Twelve Steps – a cornerstone of A.A. and one of the most significant
spiritual/therapeutic concepts ever created. Wilson wrote the first draft
of the Twelve Steps one night in bed; A.A. members helped refine the
approach. Among the steps: "We admitted that we were powerless over
alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable," and "We made a decision
to turn our will and our lives over to the care and direction of God as
we understood Him." (Today, the Twelve-Steps concept is used by a variety
of recovery groups.)
The book became A.A.’s primary text, and eventually it gave Bill and Lois
a comfortable income. They lived the rest of their lives in Bedford
Hills, New York, just outside New York City, with Bill working full time
as leader of A.A. and Lois helping to found Al-Anon, an organization for
families of alcoholics. (Their home later became the Stepping Stones
Foundation, which holds Wilson’s personal papers and archives). The
Wilson marriage lasted 53 years (they had no children) until Bill’s
death. Lois was loyal to Bill through thick and thin. And the thin
moments were legion – not only Wilson’s drinking in the early days, but
his probable womanizing in later years.
By the 1950s Wilson was "the messiah of sobriety," in the words of
biographer Matthew J. Raphael, traveling widely for A.A., speaking to
thousands, and writing hundreds of articles. He was famous yet unknown –
many people knew him only as "Bill W.," in keeping with A.A.’s commitment
to anonymity.
As A.A. grew, he continued to seek deeper truths about human existence.
He read voraciously, saw a therapist, and studied Roman Catholicism
(though he never joined any church). He shocked the A.A. board of
trustees by experimenting with LSD and by conducing seances in his home.
And he developed a strong interest in vitamin therapy for alcoholism and
mental/emotional problems.
Bill Wilson survived tremendous hard-ship and emerged a better man. As is
the case in many remarkable lives, his suffering put him on the path to
greatness. He could reasonably have felt a sense of satisfaction with his
accomplishments in his later years, although-restless soul that he was-he
surely knew how much work still needed to be done, how many people still
needed help through A.A.’s basic formula: "Don’t drink, a day at a time.
Go to meetings."
A long term smoker, Wilson developed emphysema, eventually complicated by
pneumonia. He died in Miami on January 24, 1971, at age 75. Lois lived
until 1988.
Membership in A,.A. has grown and grown; today, it stands at 1.1 million
people in the U.S. and 2.2 million in more than 150 countries around the
world.
Sidebar: A Look Inside Alcoholics Anonymous
People who have not been personally touched by alcoholism (either their
own or a loved one's) may have heard of the "12 Steps" approach devised
by Bill Wilson, but know little else about the philosophy of the
Alcoholics Anonymous "fellowship." Here are some facts from the official
Web site, www, aa.org:
A.A. does not recruit or solicit members-the only requirement to join is
a desire to stop drinking. There is no application form, no age or
education minimums, or any set dues or fees. A group might "Pass the hat"
at a meeting for members to contribute what they wish toward the cost of
the rental space or food served, or for A.A.’s national services.
The core of A.A. is the local group meeting, which can be open or closed.
The general public may attend an open meeting: typically a leader will
introduce A.A. members (by first names only), who will talk about their
personal experiences with alcohol, how they came to A.A., and how their
lives have changed as a result. Closed meetings are restricted to current
members or people who think they may have a drinking problem.
AA has a single purpose: alcoholics helping each other to stay sober.
People addicted to cocaine or other drugs may attend a closed A.A.
meeting only if they also have a drinking problem.
The A.A. program is based on total abstinence from alcohol. But members
never pledge to swear off alcohol for life, or even tomorrow – the
current 24 hours is their only focus. Members say, "I will not take a
drink today."
A.A. does not keep members’ case histories or meeting attendance records.
There are no requirements that a member attend a certain number of
meetings in any given period, and no one "checks up" on members to see if
they are drinking. As a nonprofessional support group, there is no
medical or psychological treatment offered, and A.A. does not sponsor or
conduct research on alcoholism.
Though the 12 steps make reference to God or a higher power, A.A. is not
affiliated with any religious denomination. The group also does not
endorse or oppose any political or social causes.
There are different ideas about what alcoholism truly is, but most A.A.
members believe it is an illness that cannot be cured, only arrested.
They believe the illness is a combination of a physical sensitivity to
alcohol and a mental obsession with drinking that willpower alone cannot
break.
Source: Biography, January 2003
Contact:
The Legacy Group of Alcoholics Anonymous © 2005